It dawned up me last week and actually I brought it up on the radio show that I host. It seems to be a situation that comes up far more regularly than I am comfortable with. And for the purposes of educating others, I think it’s time to let the cat out of the bag and discuss my feelings on the subject. Here goes. I am sick to my guts of discussing the issue of my weight with people. And even more so, I don’t want the first question you ask me to be, “have you lost weight”?
Sure, when you ask it, I will smile, say thank you and perform all the pleasantries. But to be completely honest, the question itself makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I will tell you why. It makes me feel like my size, weight whatever you want to call it is the most important issue in my life. I feel like it defines who I am, and is all that people see. Also, it reminds me everyday of the internal struggle with the issue, and that the embarrassment I feel is a public and not private issue. That makes it really difficult.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that people, for the most part, do it with positive intent. And I thank them for that. But it doesn’t change the fact that it hurts to think that a lot of people see the fact that I struggle with my weight before they actually see me. Really, not to try and garner any type of sympathy here, but it’s like a kick in the nuts every time.
Whilst my constant battle with my weight is of course an important part of who I am, there is a lot more to me I promise you. In all honesty, it is probably the absolute last thing I want to be talking about. And that is because it makes me feel frustrated and unhappy, everytime. It is a constant reminder that so far, in this battle I have failed. And I am not one who takes this kind of failure very well. I pride myself on being a pretty motivated person who is able to achieve his goals, but in this particular case I have fallen flat.
Now, I am pretty sure that I can speak for everyone, who like me, has struggled with weight issues, when I say we don’t want to talk about it with anyone and everyone. It is difficult to deal with the fact that as people, we are deemed by society to be not normal, unhealthy, lazy or ill disciplined. That really hurts. It is almost the same as having some kind of physical deformity and being reminded about it over and over. Man it sucks. And as stated above is a constant reminder of our failures. Would any of you skinny persons out there like to be constantly reminded of your failures? I don’t think so.
Please, allow my battle with my weight to be my own private battle. I promise you, I think about it every day already and do not need the constant reminders. Finally, I would like to state the following. Whether I am fat, skinny, tall, small or have three legs, I am me. David Ozi Borg the man. NOT David Ozi Borg the fat man.
Well said.
Thank you
Believe me it angers me too…in my case its the opposite….I have people commenting about how much I lost weight, that I am going to vanish, that I am now too thin!!! All people see is that! Not knowing my background, why and how it makes me feel! So sad that we cant comment nicely in general to boost each other!
Thanks for sharing and commenting.
I totally get the sentiment behind this post, especially being someone who has struggled with her weight/mental health for the better part of her teenage and adult life. What baffles me just slightly is that you guys both joke so much about your weight on the show…isn’t that passing on the wrong message? If people should be sensitive towards you by not enquiring about your weight loss, surely you should exercise the same caution when taking the piss out of it, especially with so many followers and with both you guys being so majorly influential in the Maltese radio scene as you’re both very well aware. Being big doesn’t give you the right to mock ‘big-ness’. It doesn’t give you a get out of jail free card. The impact can still be big on many people. I’m not trying to hate here…I love your program, I love the combination of you guys and what you bring to Maltese radio, I love your blogs and I love what you stand for…I just found this to be slightly contradictory and thought I’d share. Meanwhile, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s very brave to speak so openly about mental health – we need more people like you in the world!
Hi Steff. Thank you very much for the very interesting read. Personally though, I don’t agree. I don’t think we mock fat people on the show, we just tell it as it is from our own personal perspective. Plus, the blog and the show are two different things altogether. Which require two different approaches. What I do on the show is not an exact representation of who I am. The blog more so is truer to who I am as a person. I do understand also that from time to time I can be contradictory between the two roles, I am not perfect. Just a normal guy. Trying to give a normal guy perspective. I think a lot of people make the mistake of taking what we say on air as absolute fact. They shouldn’t. It is an entertainment show after all.
Entertainment or not, it’s still influencial and will still impact people. But fair enough…to each his own 🙂 Good read though, well done.