We live in uncertain times. The events of the past eight weeks or so have been surreal to put it mildly. For most of us we are facing situations we have never had to face before. With uncertainty automatically comes fear. We are all in the same boat, rowing up stream waiting to reach clear waters. I think Michael Stipe said it best when he belted out “it’s the end of the world as we know it”. I believe it is.
Not, the end of the world. Just the world as we know it. From here on end changes to life will need to be made. In my estimation likely for the much better. I think this has been a wake up call to all of us who have been been gently wading our way through life. For the record, I don’t consider myself as one of “us” for I have a rather different opinion of life to most. But that is a conversation I have touched upon in the past and surely will do so again in future.
In these times some of us are more susceptible to the enormity of the situation than others. This time, I include myself in that specific “us”. I have a creative mind, in this case not positively so. The situation has hit me rather hard, activating quite a few dormant triggers. Those who listen to me on the radio, or follow me on social media probably have not picked up on it. I have spent a lifetime hiding it from the world. However here, in this safe space, I am comfortable being completely honest with you.
My anxiety has swung to and fro rather drastically. I am using medication to control it. I feel symptoms left, right and centre. None of which exist in reality. Only in the prison that can sometimes be my mind. Other anxiety sufferers who will read this will be able to associate immediately. However, in these times my understanding is that it is not just us diagnosed sufferers who feel this. In fact there is a very good chance that many of you may be feeling the same things.
If that is the case, please do not start to believe that there is something wrong with you. Considering the state of the world at this juncture in time, these feelings are absolutely normal. I can assure you. I feel you, and I am here for you. Remember, you are never alone. A little philosophical beginning to this blog post, however necessary to connect to the next part of this story.
I have not given up on writing about my 50 in 50 journey. It has just been a matter of being distracted by this small matter of a global pandemic. The good news is that I woke up this morning with the desire to continue my written journey. Even more good news, I am still fucking rocking this challenge, big time. 🙂
Last we left off I had just finished Week five of the challenge and on the scales I had logged in at 153.8kg. Which was 11.8kg down from the beginning of the challenge. Now, I am in week 12 and still going super strong. I have been weighing myself regularly on a Monday morning and logging it in for reference. The following set of pictures illustrate that progression in the weeks so far.
We all face ups and downs in life. For those of you who have dieted successfully and unsuccessfully in the past, you will know this as a part of the journey. It is inevitable. The key is to not let the bumps it the road derail you. Instead use them as an opportunity to gain more momentum and refocus your minds on the long term challenge. It’s not a sprint after all, its a marathon.
50 kilograms in 50 weeks is my target, and so far I am well on track. At the last weigh in, so far I am 18.4 kg down in 11 weeks and feeling super charged and confident of reaching my overall targets. I know for a fact there will be hard times ahead and the challenge will be just that, a challenge. But I have positioned myself in the best possible way to make this a reality.
As a final point to today’s entry I would like make this statement of utmost importance. The weight loss is not the biggest change to have happened to me since the beginning of this journey. It is in fact the automatic rewiring of my brain to my new way of living. It’s feels strange for me to admit this, but it’s the truth. This is no longer a diet, it has officially become a life change. To me that is the most satisfying thing of all.
I would love to add some more detail at this time, but have been warned against the writing of long articles. Truthfully, I could blag on forever if uncontrolled. However, what I will do instead, seeing as I have a bit more time on my hands, is weigh in again on Monday and give you another update by Tuesday. This time I will add more detail about the tools I am using, the foods I am eating and the psychology I am practicing. Until then, thank you as always for supporting my journey and please feel free to ask me any questions. It would be an absolute honour to be a part of your journey as well.
