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    Enough is enough. I have been quite outspoken over the years regarding the Eurovision song contest. Especially in regards to its low quality Euro trash music and its farcical judging system. There was actually a time, many, many years ago when I used to enjoy it as a spectacle. Predominantly from a position of national pride. But with maturity came the absolute understanding of injustice that this joke of a competition regularly dishes out.

    This year is just another prime example of all of this. Some of you may not care at all, but last night another Maltese singing dream was left in tatters. The saddest part being that our local competitors go forth to compete with not just high hopes, but genuine intentions. Only then, to be chewed up and spit out by a totally shambolic and unjust Eurovision judging system.

    To be fair I actually thought that Christabelle’s song, Taboo, was not too bad at all. Although its not my cup of tea in all honesty. But as songs go, and in comparison with some of the other crap put forward, personally I think the song justified at least a place in the grand final.

    Now, in the interest of not going into the writing of this piece without a frikkin clue, I did some research. Ok, it was not a lot of research, but enough to give me a confident opinion. I heard at least 30 seconds of each single Eurovision song entered in this years competition. Christ it was painful. What and absolute total and unequivocal pile of crap. I think my ears are bleeding and I may not ever recover from this experience. Truly, I am traumatised. I will certainly need more intensive therapy as a result and may never get an erection again. All in the name of honest blogging.

    Now, having semi composed myself once more, I am confident in saying that the Maltese entrant was certainly good enough to be in the remaining 26 for the final after the 17 were cut via the semi final stages. I am not trying to say it had a chance of winning, not the case at all. But a spot in the final, certainly. And the fact that once more, Malta has been pushed out via the “Love thy neighbour” voting system is an absolute joke and insult to our proud nation as a whole. In light of this I think it is time for Malta, or at least the people of Malta to finally boycott Eurovision and earn back some national respect. And here are my three reasons why.

    Reason number 1, as described above, the voting system. As it currently stands, with the voting system that is, Malta have absolutely no chance of ever winning the Eurovision song contest. Even if the judges vote Malta to be the best song in the competition, the home voting system will always result in a certain number of votes being lost to the “buddy system”. As Malta clearly has no “buddies”, the country starts with a clear disadvantage to those who have friendly, neighbouring allies. Totally unfair in my opinion. And what is the point of entering a competition you cannot win?

    Secondly, the show itself is cringe-worthy. Sure, they throw a lot of money at it. The setting is usually impressive with a big stage and loads of bright lights. From the outside it looks nice. But the presentation of the show? OH MY GOD. It makes me want to stab a hot needle in my own eye ball its so terrible. Where they hell do they find these presenters? I am not trying to say that the Maltese are Gods gift to the world of stage and event hosting, but what I have witnessed on a Eurovision stage is almost deserving of the reinstatement of capital punishment. YUK. PUKE. YUK.

    And as a part of the second point, the going around countries for the votes thingy. “This is Baku Calling”. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH. It’s like they find each countries biggest reject and throw them in front of the whole of Europe. What the actual you know what?

    Third and finally, and perhaps the most prudent of arguments is the cost. How much does it cost to send a participant and their “entourage” to the Eurovision Song Contest? I am not exactly sure on figures and have only seen speculative reports. But they all seem to suggest the value is somewhere in the hundreds of thousands. What an absolute total waste of money. Tax payer money I might add. Now if there was some remote chance that we could win the damn thing, or, have the opportunity to one day host the event, from a monetary perspective it would make sense. But we all know that will never happen.

    So, basically, in a nut shell, Malta keeps flushing money down the proverbial Eurovision toilet. All for the honour of an annual bout of shame and embarrassment. Wonderful.

    I could have actually even raised a fourth point why Malta should boycott the Eurovision. The inclusion of Australia as a participating country. How in the sacred name of Lucifer was this ever allowed to happen? Just another small point as to what a joke the actual whole competition is.

    So people of Malta, I urge you from the bottom of my somewhat shallow heart, do not watch this ridiculous competition ever again. Don’t waste a single second of your limited time on earth with this turd fest. Do something more productive, like boiling and peeling 1000 eggs. Or take a ride on a unicycle, naked, with no seat. Spend those extra few hours with your kids or loved ones. Or cover your head with a black bag whist listening to Sepultura’s great hits on your headphones. Do whatever. Just don’t allow the Eurovisionless to ever take the piss out of you ever again.

    Oz out.



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    1. Andrew DeGiovanni

      I cannot agree more, good article!

      1. davidoziborg

        Thank you.

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